The Sunrise
by StopWatchFan
Summary: Ianto leaves Torchwood after Jack finds Lisa in the basement of the Hub, and Ianto tries to find balance without Torchwood.  AU, Pre-Gwen, SLASH of course! This is originally a Oneshot, I'm making it a full story now :
1. Prologue

**Story title: The Sunrise**

**Rating: M, mature readers**

**Warning: Sexual references, slash (MxM), angst**

**Pairing(s)/Characters : Jack/Ianto, Lisa/Ianto, (team mentioned)**

**Disclaimer: I am not getting paid for this; if I were, I would be a PRETTY happy girl. But, alas, I am not ;) I do not have anything to do with Torchwood, nor do I own Jack Harkness, Ianto or any of the characters. I am just playing with them; I will put them back when I'm done. Okay? ^_^(u guessed it, eh? I'm Canadian). The idea of the situation came from my imagination (obviously) and was a bit inspired by The Paris Letter's Sandy Sonnenburg's (sp?) therapy session. If you haven't listened to/watched the play, it's an amazing play, written by Jon Robin Baitz. :) Okay, that's all. Enjoy!**

**Author's Note: Chapter inspired by the song "He Dreams He's Awake" by the band, Stars. They are AMAZING! Canadians rule**

The Sunrise

Chapter 1 – Prologue  
'It Won't Let Me Go'

I lay in the darkness, staring up at the dim blue light creeping out from the outer Hub. I can feel the warm, but thin, white sheets – now a pale blue from the lighting – over my legs. I can feel the heat from the warm body next to me.  
His muscular arm drapes across my chest, his hot breathe running down my neck. I take in a sobbing breath, trying to keep as silent as possible. I don't want him to wake.  
I never want to be here. My skin feels as if it burns at his touch. I feel dirty, lying here night after night. Fuck after fuck. It makes my skin crawl thinking of what each night brought.

But I endure. For her. Only for her. To keep her alive. I would do anything.

I admit – I get shivers when the sun sets. The rest of the team go home. They leave me alone. With him. I'm glad no one knows.

I feel Jack kiss the crook of my neck. It burns, I flinch. He's awake. Oh no.

When the night falls, Jack takes me. In the shadows of the Hub. The places he makes me have sex with him in. I insist that I'm not having sex with him; he is with me. He is the one fucking me.

I tell her that. She is the only one I love. One day, I will find a way to help her.

It is only when the sun rises; in the morning. When the team comes back from their peaceful nights, I do the walk of shame. Not that anyone would notice me, though. They're too busy for that.  
I use Jack's shower in the mornings. I practically scald myself with the hot water; trying to get him off of me. Off of my body, out of my skin. It rarely helps, though. He's there. He's everywhere. He haunts me.

"Ianto." He whispers. I quickly close my eyes, trying pathetically to pass off as asleep. Jack rests his head against my chest, pressing against my heart.

It's the night that truly scares me. I rarely actually go out. I stay; paranoid of the chance of someone finding her. Especially Jack. He knows the first person to go to. Me, of course.  
But, it still puzzles me; why me? He probably thinks of me as one of the most unstable members of Torchwood. Why let me, of all people, down to his compartment under his office? Let me see his weaknesses, his faults...  
Usually, when I go off on these endless questions in my mind, I just resolve it temporarily, thinking to myself that Jack is just a pervert. A perverted man who just does what he wants.  
I remember the first time Jack had come to me. In the night, the darkness takes over even the Hub. Jack came up behind me. I didn't know he was there. I suddenly felt two hands rest on either side of my waist. I spun around, pulling my gun out, aiming. Jack smiled and took the gun out of my hand. He kissed me. I didn't know what to do. I let it happen. It was a month into my employment at Torchwood. Still a panicky mess; worried about every glance from anyone; scared that they knew about her. After that night, I was worried that the team knew about Jack and I.

She accuses me of not loving her. She tells me to kill her; that she has nothing to live for. I tell her I do it for her. It's the only way to get on his good side quickly. She understands.

I think of the past. Times with her. Love; true love, it seemed. But, in Torchwood, true love seems destined to fail. No one in Torchwood lives to have lives outside of it. The relationship is complicated – systematical, even. But, as the person I am, I appreciated the order in which things went. I loved the reassurance that everything will be alright.

Jack. Jack. Jack.  
It hurts to think of him. The craziness of not knowing what is going to happen. It makes my head spin.  
The sex – It's crazy. It's intoxicating; the deliriousness of it. Not knowing what is going to happen. It makes my heart pound in my chest. It makes my skin burn at his touch. The excitement of every night, it's terrifying.  
He holds me afterward, every night. He says nothing. Just wraps his arms around me, holding me close. Until we fall asleep.  
This warmth; this comfort he has... I wonder where it comes from. His warm, soft breathing on my neck; his beautiful body against mine, holding me in his arms. It seems to envelope me in a dream of peacefulness.  
I think, for the first time in my life, I may be beginning to be happy.

I remember where I am, and relax my breathing.  
"I'm sorry." Jack whispers.  
I open my eyes.  
He's gone.  
I'm in my bed.  
I hear my front door shut through my open bedroom door.  
I sigh and roll over.  
I hear a crumple.  
I pick up the paper I rolled over.

'I found Lisa'


	2. Just Give Up

Chapter 2  
'Just Give Up'

Staring out my bedroom window from my warm bed, I watch the sunrise. I love the bright flashes when glass from the buildings outside reflects the light as the morning shines upon them.

A new day.

Jack left an hour ago. I'm too scared to get out of bed.

He found her. Lisa. I know what that means. 90 percent chance she's dead, 10 percent he had her interrogated _before_ she was killed.

I finally found the courage to get out of bed, walking out into the hall, then into the kitchen. I open the fridge and pick out a bottle of water. I pause.

What if I'm next? He's probably added retcon to everything in my apartment.

I emptied my fridge, threw out my toothpaste, my Listerine. Even my eye drops. Pity; I need them for all those nights working so late. It's a _miracle_ that there's a Visine for that.

I took a shower and went out for breakfast.

There was a small café on the corner on my building's block. I usually go there to eat if I catch the smallest space of free time; something rare to find working at Torchwood.

I take a seat at the table in a seemingly forgotten corner of the café and pick up a menu. A waitress comes over after a few minutes.

"'Ello, sweetheart, what can I get you?" She says, smiling down at me, holding a small notepad and pen in her hands. I smiled.

"Eggs and chips, I suppose." I reply, sighing. I'm not that hungry.

"Coffee, too?" She asks. I nod and she walks away.

I run my fingers through my hair nervously, looking down at the table. I hear the chair across from me scrape the floor tiles as it is pushed out, and someone sits. I look up.

"Surprised to see me?" Jack says, flashing his trademark grin. I scrunch my eyebrows together, confused about why he's here. "You're pretty smart for taking the precaution of cleaning out your apartment." Jack continues to speak, picking up the menu and looking through it. "But, I am a _little_ offended that you think I would retcon you." He smiles, cocking one eyebrow at me as he glances up from the menu for a brief moment.

"Oh, sweetie, you've got a friend in today?" The waitress returns, placing my order down in front of me. I feel my cheeks burn. Jack smiles quietly.

"Yes, he does." Jack says, still smiling. He turns to her, "Could I just get a cup of coffee?" He asks before she leaves.

"'_Sweetie_'? That's adorable." Jack comments. I frown. "Now, then, back to business..." Jack says, tapping his fingers on the edge of the table.

"If you don't want to get rid of me, what do you want?" I ask, taking a bite of my egg.

"Why was she there?" He asks firmly. _So, she wasn't interrogated..._

"I was keeping her alive." I reply, shyly looking at the table.

"She was a cyberman." Jack says, frowning.

"She worked at Torchwood... She was my girlfriend." I nearly whisper, shyly, poking at my food with my fork.

"She wasn't human anymore." Jack insists. His coffee mug is placed on the table by the waitress. Jack smiles briefly at her.

"She could be. I was going to find a way to help her –"

"There is no way. It's hopeless." Jack interrupts me. I glare at him.

"The operation was incomplete, there might—"

"No, Ianto, there isn't; give up." Jack's tone is firm. I stay silent for a moment.

"You killed her."

"I had to."

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath and leaning back in my chair. After a moment, I open my eyes again. Jack is still there. I'm not quite sure why I but, somewhere inside, I expected him to have disappeared when I opened my eyes again.

"Ianto, I expect you to come in to work as normal." Jack says, taking a sip of his coffee, making a face as he set the mug back down.

"You know, once you taste Ianto-coffee, you're a bit spoiled for anything else." Jack comments, making me unable to stop myself from smiling. I slouch in my seat, my fingers lazily touching my lips, pathetically trying to hide my smile.

"I have to stock up my flat again... I threw out _anything_ that could have been tainted with retcon." I sigh, eating a chip. Jack smiles.

"One of the many reasons I just love you; you can never be too prepared." Jack jokes. I frown, nearly choking on the chip in my mouth.

There was silence.

I open my mouth to speak, but Jack does first. "I'll see you at the Hub at 7:00 'o' clock, sharp, tomorrow morning." Jack says, clearing his throat. He stands, placing a ten quid note on the table before walking away and leaving the café. I frown, throwing my head back in a sigh.


	3. Here It Comes

Chapter 3  
'Here it Comes'

I went shopping after breakfast to replace everything that I threw out.

I hung around the flat for a while before venturing out into the world again. It was growing dark quickly – late dawns and early sunsets; my _favourite_ part of the winter.

I walk aimlessly for a while, and soon I find myself at the Plass. I walk around, to the old tourists shop. I go towards the water which glistens in the dim light from the buildings.

I lean against the rope fence, breathing in the fresh air, and staring into the water.

I wonder how deep the water is. To be that dark, I assume it is very. I grasp my hand around one of the wooden poles connecting the ropes to each other, leaning in further.

The water must be deep. And cold. Someone would probably freeze to death if they were to fall in. They would freeze and drown; a quick death, I'm sure. And this fence isn't all that secure; a few ropes connected to wood? A total accident, it would be.

My grasp on the wood tightens. I can feel a splinter slicing through the skin of my index finger, but I don't care. I lift one foot up, catching it on one of the ropes. It is surprisingly sturdy enough to support my weight.

"No, you don't!"

I gasp when someone grabs me from behind, pulling me to the ground.

Jack Harkness is looming over me, a glare on his face, a dominating aura seeming to be emitting from his body.

I stay silent. It was a good thing, too; I would have said something stupid if I hadn't.

Jack drove me home in the SUV. He's probably afraid I might have tried again if he left me alone.

"What were you thinking?" Jack says, as he closes the front door behind us. I am still silent.

"Sit," Jack says softly, gesturing to the couch in the living room. I sit quietly, pressing against the splinter in my finger with my thumb.

"Sir, I don't want to go back." I nearly whisper. But, I'm pretty sure Jack heard.

"'Sir'?" Jack repeats. I tighten my hands into fists, trying to be calm.

"Ianto, I refuse to let you die, or to take away your memory of Torchwood." Jack said firmly. I look up, despite my worries that I might be crying with the burning of my cheeks that is definitely not blushing.

"Then, what do you want from me? Why are you like this?" I shout, as if letting out this rage will somehow vent the heat from my cheeks out.

Jack seems to not falter with my sudden outburst; as if he knew it was coming.

"Ianto," He begins softly, walking towards the couch. I stay quiet as he sits next to me, one arm stretched out across the backrest behind me. "It's called 'killing you with kindness'." He says, his voice nothing but sweet and calm, eyes seeming to sparkle.

"Well, it's working; but I would rather a bullet." I retort, staring him in the eye. My words seem to cut deep, Jack's composed mask breaking.

"Sit here." Jack says, walking off.

I hear water running for a moment and a clank of my coffee machine. I take a deep breath; trying to contain my rage from him using my machine without permission. But, who am I right now to give permission for anything?

I wait quietly, returning to my original task of poking at my splinter.

"Splinter?" Jack says as he walks into the living room, cup of coffee in hand.

I hesitate, but then nod. Jack sets the steaming mug on the coffee table. On top of a coaster, I might add. At least I taught him something.

Jack is silent and goes to his knees next to me on the floor. He holds out his palm, waiting. I flinch after a moment, realizing he wants my hand.

"Sorry..." I whisper, watching as Jack examines my finger. He looks up at me briefly, and then shoves one hand into the inside breast pocket of his greatcoat. He pulls out tweezers, and I cock one eyebrow.

"Don't even ask." Jack mutters, bringing it to my finger. I crack a brief smile safe from Jack's eyes, and then wince as he pulls out the sliver of wood.

A drop of blood begins to trickle out of the wound. I open my mouth to ask for a bandage until Jack puts his mouth over my finger, licking away the blood.

I suddenly feel the rest of my blood rush to my cheeks.

"What are you doing?" I ask after Jack releases my hand.

It's Jack's turn to be silent. I frown as he does.

"I'm sorry." He says quietly, looking up at my eyes. "I,"—

He pauses. He glances back at the mug on the coffee table. He turns and picks it up, and holds it out to me.

"Drink."


	4. Life Without

**Warning: Sexual themes (well... it's Torchwood. :P)  
Chapter rating: M (again, it's Torchwood! XD)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, or any of the characters. I do own the situation I've created for them But, alas, I can't call these lovely people mine :'(**

**Author's Note: I AM SOOOOO SORRY it took so long to update. Forgive me? :'( I have an extra-special chapter 4 for you! XD ... Again, sorry you'll actually have to wait for it. But not for as long! It'll be somewhat like chapter 1, with its songfic-ish theme. It'll be based on "Mutiny Below" by the BEST BAND EVER Ludo 3 Look it up, if you want a little hint at what might happen soon **

Chapter 3  
'Life Without'

_Jack looks down at me – a small, reassuring smile on his face. It weighs me down like a ton of bricks._ _I close my eyes._

_I can feel Jack's grip on my knee tighten slightly as he adjusts its position over his shoulder. I wince internally, fearing what's about to come. _Definitely_ no pun intended._

_I gasp quietly as Jack's penis breaches my arse hole. I hiss as he slowly moves in. His slow pace convinces me he _truly_ wants to kill me._

"_It always hurts the first time, but, it'll pass." Jack whispers, leaning in and kissing my lips softly._

_I have gotten over my gag reflex after a week of his kisses; so I'm still able to do it while being _impaled_. I shiver._

_Jack presses his forehead against mine as he carefully begins to move inside me. I groan. It feels like my internal organs are threatening to burst if I don't stop this._

"_Y-you said it would pass." I mutter. Jack stops moving. I calm just a bit._

"_I'm sorry. Do you want me to stop?" Jack whispers, leaning away from my face._

_I open my mouth to speak, but my throat just cracks. My body has betrayed me._

_I stare up into Jack's blue eyes for a moment. I've never seen them, or him, like this – worried; genuine. Like nothing else in the world seems to matter but my answer. To be honest, it scares me._

_I lift my hand up to the nape of Jack's neck, pulling him back down towards my face._

"_No." I whisper and kiss him._

I wake up with a bitching head ache. I roll out of bed and just as I make to stand up, it hits me. Jack found her. Lisa.

God knows what he's done to her. Tortured her. Interrogated her. _Brain-probed_ her. Then killed her. All the fun, Torchwood ways.

I'm not the pacing type, but I find myself eroding my bedroom floor for at least an hour until I swear I see a dent in the wood that was not there before.

I go out to the living room before I go mad. I sit down on the couch, trying to be calm. I look at a mug that I suppose I left on the coffee table. I lift it and see some coffee in it. I tilt my head, sceptical about the chance I could have left the drink unfinished. I inhale; over-night stale-coffee smell, and too little coffee beans. I didn't make this. I couldn't have.

I purse my lips, staring at the mug until I give up and go wash it.

I examine my kitchen counter, placing the now clean mug into an over-head cabinet. My coffee bean tin is in its proper place beside the machine. I find a small, brushed-together pile of split coffee grounds. I cock one eyebrow and clean it up.

I go to the refrigerator and I look through it. Milk, cream, water bottles, old takeaway containers. I spot one with black permanent marker reading: "_Jack __ღ__"._

I pull the small Styrofoam container and open it, finding a bit of chicken and chips. I roll my eyes, tossing it in the trash.

I don't know what, but it suddenly feels as if some cloaking aura has come for me and I nearly fall back, finding balance on the counter's edge. I feel a bit dizzy.

I slowly make my way out to the living room and lay down on the couch. I close my eyes and decide quietly that if Torchwood wants me out, they'll just have to come and find me.

**3 Weeks Later**

I pick up my bag of groceries, smiling at the cashier politely before leaving.

I walk out to car park and freeze; realizing I don't have a car. I usually do errands for Torchwood with the SUV and I'm the last one to leave, if at all.

I turn and make my way home to my apartment which is only 2 blocks down, anyway.

Aside from the occasional slip of the mind, I've made my life from Torchwood pretty good. It's a tad quieter than it used to, but at least I sleep more than 2 hours at night... sometimes.

I look to the horizon; enjoying the view of the sun setting; exploding into oranges and pinks and all sorts of colours. It's one of the many things I've been able to enjoy without Torchwood. Every time I hear a siren I don't automatically focus on whatever Jack might be about to send through the comms. Every time I hear a gun shot in my apartment; I don't panic and grab my automatic pistol, clearly remembering that I'm playing James Bond in the living room.

I think I've been healing. The other day I actually _didn't_ growl at the memory of the note and of Jack's face.

When I come up in the lift in my building, I don't immediately brace myself to meet Jack's murderous glare once the door opens on my floor. I don't carry my gun under my over coat and I absolutely _don't_ think of what Jack might have been doing for the past 3 weeks without me.

Of course I don't.

When I get to my door, I unlock it and get inside silently. I'm trying to avoid a strange woman living across from me. Now that I'm home more often, I've actually seen my neighbours. And frankly, I wish I was never home.

The first day I didn't go into Torchwood again, I went out for breakfast. On my way back in, a young blonde woman, no younger than 20, leaned on the frame of her door, smiling at me. She was either high or crazy.

Every day I've seen her since then, she has been flirting with me like a whore on a street corner in London.

I'm lucky that she didn't catch me tonight. I exhale in relief at my quiet apartment, setting my groceries down in the kitchen. I put the perishables in the fridge, and everything else in the cupboards.

I find my way into my bedroom lazily, just wanting to sleep. I undress, throwing my clothes in the hamper. I slide under the covers, staring out the window. The sunset is on the other side of the building, unfortunately. I can only see a vague wisp of yellow in the top border of my bedroom window. The rest is blue, transitioning to a dark, navy night colour.

I haven't been able to sleep a full night in years; since I was recruited to Torchwood. Too much work; too much to worry about. But, now, I suppose my body isn't used to having time to sleep.

Watching the night fall, I slowly feel my eyes begin to droop. I close them and listen to the blissful silence.


	5. I'm Freezing

**Author's Note: I am SOOO sorry it took this long to update. I was working on a lot of other stories, videos, and school XD Forgive me? ;)**

**Chapter 5**  
**'I'm Freezing'**

I sit at the bar, playing with a near-empty bottle in my hands. The music is blasting so loud I can hardly hear myself think. But, I suppose that's why I like coming here. My mind just goes blank, enjoying a break from the bustle of the day preceding the night at the pub. I've been coming here, to Streetlights, which is a really crap name for a pub anyway, almost every night for a while now.

Tonight, my goal is to avoid contact with some dark-haired, small-breasted – but very proud – woman who has been eying me from the other end of the bar since I walked in.

Suddenly, a thud off-beat from the music hits the floor near me and I turn to see some bloke on the floor who seems to be recuperating from a blow to the face – his hand is up to cheek. I look up and see a definitely pissed off man, curling up his fist for another blow.

As the man on the floor jumps up to tackle the other, I notice something – a royal blue button-up shirt, braces... and a belt. Before I can call out, they make contact, punching, wrestling, going so quickly it was all a blur.

Then, a woman runs up – the same tramp who was eying me, pushing the two apart and hitting the one who knocked the first one to the floor on the chest.

I dare to stand and walk over to the spectacle. "Jack."

I smile as I meet familiar piercing blue eyes. A pity they've got a little dark around the edges. Bloody brute got him right in the eye! Jack is frozen, staring at me.

"Jack." This time the woman spoke. He turns half-way, in the middle of her and me.

"Gwen Cooper, Ianto Jones." Jack nods to each of us. I shyly extend my hand to her and she accepts, blushing like mad. Oh, she should be.

"What happened?" I half-whisper half-shout over the music. Jack looks to Gwen, then to block-head.

"A _misunderstanding_." Jack says to him, emphasizing as if making a point. Gwen places one hand on his shoulder and they walk away.

"Who is she?" I ask.

"Uhm... A new Torchwood recruit." Jack says, looking at me with gentle eyes. I shyly look to the floor.

As if absolutely nothing has happened, the dance floor is now repopulated and we are swarmed with people around us.

"Want to dance?" Jack asks. I stare at his eyes for a moment, watching for tricks or something behind them. I shake my head.

"I'm going home." I say, and walk away.

* * *

I hear knocking at my door. I groan, turning under my blankets, refusing to come out. The knocking persists.

I open my eyes, seeing rain trickling down in intricate veins on the window pane. I shiver, realizing I've kicked off all but one of my covers.

I stand up slowly and walk to answer to the most annoying sound ever created. I open the door and glare when I see the face behind it.

"Jack, you have your stupid wrist strap; can't you just break in like a _normal_ person?" I groan, leaning my temple against the doorframe.

"Sorry... Listen, Ianto—"

I close the door, making the trek back to my bedroom.

I'm somewhat pleased to hear Jack let _himself_ in when I slide back under the covers that I quickly recover from the floor. I hear him stop at my closed bedroom door and I roll my eyes.

After all these weeks, I would think he would have the common sense to leave me alone. I've adjusted to living without Torchwood... and Jack. I've let go to what held me back; at least, I tried.

"Ianto." Jack whispers through the door. I sigh, sitting up against the headboard. I won't be able to sleep knowing Jack is on the other side.

"I've tried to learn to be courteous – permission and stuff ..." Jack is speaking quietly, as if to himself.

"Can you come in?" I say, crossing my ankles, trying to find warmth. Jack opens the door, walking in. I note that he's removed his shoes. I try to bite back a shy smile at that. Jack stares down at me with his crystal-like blue eyes which catch the moonlight through the window. "I'm freezing..."

Jack is still for a moment, his lips opening the slightest bit, as if he's thinking over something to say. I carefully lift one hand and slowly pull open the sheets, inviting Jack in. He raises his chin a bit, scanning my face.

He makes to take off his coat but I stop him by whispering his name and he looks at me. "Leave the coat on." I say, feeling a bit of blush creeping up to my cheeks. Jack puts on his trademark grin, looking down at the floor before slipping inside the bed.

He smiles at me, his eyes still sparkling. He comes closer and wraps his coat around me, holding me to his chest. I suppress a sob and take a deep breath.

"Jack," I begin, but he stops me with a cooing 'shh', rubbing my back gently.

"We'll work it out tomorrow." He says, kissing the top of my head. I smile to myself, leaning my head against his chest, nuzzling myself into the crook of Jack's neck.

But, of course we don't sleep. After about an hour of lying next to each other, Jack speaks. "It's midnight."

I laugh. "Only you, Jack." I say, patting his chest.

"Ianto, I'm sorry." He says, shifting away from me to see my face. I frown.

"You should be – a month and some and all I get is an invite to dance?" I exclaim, raising my eyebrows.

"I didn't know what to do – dancing was the nearest thing."

I roll my eyes. "So... Is Gwen my _replacement_?" I ask shyly, looking down to the mattress.

"She's an accident. She was a bit nosy on a case, we gave her Retcon, Suzy reminded her, shot herself in the head, and badda-bing-badda-boom, she's in Torchwood... It's a much more complicated story than that; but I'm _reeally_ tired." Jack explains, tilting his head.

I smile. I realise how much I've missed Jack's voice; the warmth and security that being held to his chest brought. I never would have thought that I would miss it. I draw myself closer to Jack's chest, wrapping my arms around his back. I feel Jack's nose brush against the top of my head.

"You smell good." He whispers.

"It's just my hair. _I_ smell like crap." I reply, resting my temple against Jack's heart, enjoying the steady beat thumping against my ear.

"I doubt that." Jack says. I chuckle, rolling my eyes. He then swiftly manoeuvres himself on top of me, planting his hands at my sides on the mattress. I stare up at him curiously, watching his blue eyes mingle with the moonlight filtering through the rainy window.

Jack slowly lowers himself towards me and instead of kissing me as I expect him to, he leans his face down into my neck, nuzzling his nose at my jaw. He inhales deeply and slowly, as if inspecting. His eyes return to view as he rises up again, his face lit up. "You smell like coffee." He muses.

I laugh, grinning so wide my cheeks begin to ache. Jack smiles, lowering himself again, his lips grazing my collarbone. I bite my lip, closing my eyes cautiously. I choke a little when Jack presses the tiniest kiss on my Adam's apple. I open my eyes, meeting Jack's. He sends me a small, gentle smile before continuing.

I feel his hands at my sides, his knees stationed at my hips. He pushes my undershirt up, uncovering my navel. I let out a bit of a moan of protest to the sudden cold. Jack chuckles as he kisses just below my belly button. I lick my lips and try to relax.

I gasp when Jack's tongue licks a circle around my navel, biting my skin just the slightest bit, before kissing it better. "You even taste like coffee." Jack teases. I grin, placing one hand on the back of his neck, tugging lightly.

Jack travels upwards and plants a kiss on my lips for a change. I allow him inside, his tongue venturing every surface. I forgot how... sexual Jack makes kissing. Kissing, to Jack, is like a very minute blowjob. Jack grins against my mouth when I playfully suck on his tongue for just a second. He retracts his tongue and sucks on my bottom lip, biting down just enough not to draw blood. I moan, fingers digging into Jack's hair.

Jack's lips part from mine and he leans his forehead against mine. "All I want is one more night." He says.

I open my eyes, staring at those blue orbs again. There it is; that look – as if only I matter in this whole world. I close my eyes.

Jack leaves my mouth and travels down and I can feel his warm fingers hooking themselves under the elastic of my boxer shorts. I take a deep breath and nod, biting down on my lip before he pulls them down and continues.


	6. Double Entendres

**Chapter rating: T  
Authors note: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT AND PATHETICALLY FILLER-ESQUE CHAPTER! Writers block is a sickness , I tell you! I wish I could promise a new chapter soon but, alas, final exams are coming up so I'll be even more busy killing myself over a passing grade XD ... why does math exist again? XP ANYWAY, new chapter coming, but expect it further into july/august.. AND WHO ELSE IS DYYIINNNGG FOR MIRACLE DAY! xD ..I'll shut up now...  
OH YEAH – I don't own these beautiful people... :'(**

Chapter 6

I open my eyes slowly, staring out at the gloomy morning through my window – still dark and cloudy from the rain. I hear a mumbled curse and I roll over in my bed.

My eyes set upon a very naked and obviously frustrated Jack, glaring at the room in general as he apparently fails to remember where his other sock is – one was already in his hand.

"Jack," I whisper. He jumps, startled, and then calms down. "You're flashing my neighbours from across the street." I say, rubbing my eyes.

Jack raises his eyebrows, somehow only discovering his nakedness now, and looks down at himself. I follow his gaze, noticing dried come across his stomach and chest. I chuckle, rolling my eyes at Jack.

"No one's up at this hour." Jack says, shrugging.

"Not even you; I'm shocked." I tease, taking a stab at double entendres for a change. Jack just laughs and climbs back onto the bed.

"I'm sorry to disappoint." He says as he straddles my hips, grinning that Harkness grin. I huff a chuckle and look up at him.

"Jack, what are you going to do to me now?" I say and his smile fades away. All jokes that could possibly arise from that question are obviously ignored by Jack for now.

"Ianto, I know I screwed up, but..." Jack's hand gently rests on my side, his thumb stroking the skin. "But, I don't want you to go again.

"I know that I was an idiot to tell you to come to work the next day. But, then you go and attempt suicide. I was so fucking scared for you for this past month..." Jack fades off again, his face creasing in odd places I have never seen; and I know that he's crying.

But that doesn't mean I have to be sensitive. "Jack, if you were as worried as you say, where the hell were you?" I prop myself up on my elbows.

"Ianto, I'm saying I screwed up –"

"Answer the question!" I insist, glaring at Jack.

"I... A lot of stuff happened. Too much to go over right now, but it was crazy." His voice was strangely soft, almost defensive and I avert my eyes. "I just hope you'll come back to Torchwood." He takes my hand.

I look back to Jack, whose eyes held the most sincerity I have ever seen. "And plus, the coffee has been horrible; I don't understand how people can handle that Starbucks stuff." I roll my eyes at what Jack apparently decided was a worthwhile argument to convince me to come back.

"Jack... I don't know what goes on in that strange head of yours, but I suppose that since I want to come back, I don't even know what goes on in mine." I joke, smiling at him. He grins and kisses me.

"And, were you planning to dress before washing this off?" I ask, changing the subject to his chest, on which dried bodily fluids remained. He chuckles.

"Would you like to help me?" He suggests, cocking one eyebrow. I smile knowingly and follow him to the bathroom.


	7. Into the Unknown

**AUTHORS NOTE::: I am SOO sorry; but I've gotten sh*t straightened out for this story. But since school has started again, it'll probably be about a month until the next update. Sorry; but at least I promise it won't be another YEAR **

Chapter 7  
"Into the Unknown"

"They all hate me, don't they?" I ask nervously, staring at the cog door just a few feet away.

Jack sets a reassuring hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing. "No they don't all hate you... Gwen is new, remember?" I roll my eyes, giving Jack a quick un-amused look to which he returns a smile.

"Alright, we can't just stand here all day." Jack says, bringing his hand to the small of my back to lead me towards the door. I take a deep breath and enter the Hub with Jack. The Hub is buzzing as ever; Owens making unnecessary ruckus from the autopsy bay and I can hear Myfanwy's calls echoing from above. I haven't seen Gwen Cooper yet. Or Tosh, for that matter.

"Where's Tosh?" I ask Jack quietly, turning my head to look behind me at Jack.

"She's out in the field today; I sent her to investigate some relic that's turned up at dig site out of town." Jack explains, smiling a little. Hmm, things _have _changed. Tosh wouldn't normally go off on her own investigation.

"And Gwen Cooper?" I ask, looking around the Hub.

"Right here – the vision of loveliness!" Jack announces and I see him already turned and greeting a newly-arrived Gwen Cooper, holding – ugh – Starbucks in her hands. I like the girl already.

"Morning, Jack." She said, looking up at him with a soft blush appearing on her cheeks. I hold back a grimace; she's already fallen for his charms. Well, I suppose, who could blame her?

"Gwen, Ianto, you two have met. Now, Ianto, let me show you around. Gwen, off to Owens station." Jack orders quickly, using his commanding voice he only uses when discussing important business. He rushes me down to the hallway, in the direction of the archives, practically pushing me along with his hand on my back.

Once we arrive in the low-security archive facility, Jack stops and lets me go. I turn on the ball of my foot to face him immediately, our toes touching. "Jack, what was that?" I ask, jerking my head towards the generally direction of upstairs.

Jack sighs. "I just need you to lie low for a while, ease yourself into the scene. The team went through a lot with Lisa –"

"And I didn't?!" I shout, raising my arms in frustration, ready to grab Jack's collar, but I know better. I can't help but avert my gaze from the hard stare Jack is directing at me.

Jack seems to try to swallow his words back. "I'm sorry, Ianto... I didn't think about what I said." His voice is soft now, and I feel a hint of his fingertips brushing against my waist.

I lick my lips, taking a deep breath before I speak again, looking back to Jack's face. "Jack... Why did you want me back at Torchwood?"

Jack's gaze softens. "Yan, I—"

"Don't call me that." I interject, refusing to be referred to with a pet-name in this situation.

"_Ianto_, I just needed you. We all do. You are the most irreplaceable person here." Jack explains, taking my hand in his.

I tilt my head, unconvinced. "I appreciate the sentiment, Jack. But the most irreplaceable person here is Tosh or you. And don't get big-headed after I said that; after all, where the hell would we find an immortal man?" I respond firmly.

Jack is silent for a minute.

"So... Owen doesn't even make the cut then?"

"OH, my Lord!" I explode; ripping my hand away from Jack's grasp and take a few paces away from him. "You are unbelievable! You can only take me seriously when I'm on a ledge!"

Jack is silent, so I take it as a grant to keep on going. "Jack, I need to know that I'm not here just so you can 'keep an eye on me'. I'm a grown man; I can do what I fucking want – and if that means dying, or crying, or never seeing any of those fucking faces again, I don't think it's your business anymore."

Jack's gaze falls to the floor. I cross my arms and try to even my breathing while I wait for a response. After a sizable pause, Jack lifted his head again and spoke with a wicked formality. "You can leave."

I hesitate for a second before asking, "What does this mean?" I let my arms fall to my sides, watching Jacks face, his eyes, turning a mixture of cold cruel and sadness.

"It means that you can leave. Go back upstairs and walk out of here." Jack sighs heavily, moving away from the door, allowing me to pass. "For good."

I stride past him and make it out of the cog door before I can turn around and punch Jack in the nose.

I close and lock my flat door behind me. Thank god that blonde wasn't out in the hall today. I do not have the patience for anything like that right now.

I shrug out of my suit jacket and hang it in the closet. I remove my waistcoat and shirt, breathing deeply to calm myself. I should be happy, really. I'm free. Free of Torchwood. For good.

I go to the fridge; skim through before settling for a beer. I nearly have to force myself to sit down on the chesterfield and turn on the telly. I really shouldn't be just sitting here, but I have time, and I may as well waste it here. I open and chug down the first few gulps of the cool drink.

I quickly find myself feeling sluggish and everything goes dark.


End file.
